“I have been stealing the money.”
That purported comment from Volodymr Zelensky begins a hilarious parody video of the infamous meeting between the Ukrainian president and U.S. President Donald Trump.
“I’m sorry, what’s that now?” responds Trump in the spoof.
“I must to speak honestly,” says Zelensky. “I steal many of USAID dollars to Ukraine. Millions. Some dollars for some oligarchs, also some for American bureaucrats also.”
Trump replies, “Well, we know that, but, why are you telling me this?”
“Because, Mr. Trump, if you end war, we cannot steal any more money. We must continue war,” says Zelensky.
The overdubbed video is the work of YouTube parody videomeister “Mr Reagan,” and the clip has already received more than 4 million views in a single day over various social media.
At times, the spoof gets somewhat prurient, but it does correlate to real life as Trump is shown telling Zelensky, “You’re not going to convince me to keep the war going. You don’t have the cards.”
Zelensky: “I not play cards.”
Trump: “No, I know you’re not literally playing cards. It’s a metaphor. It’s like I’m playing 4-D chess and you’re paling checkers.”
Zelensky: “No, I not play checkers. There is no checkerboard. You see?”
Trump: “OK, let’s try this. I am in the driver’s seat. OK? Do you understand that expression?”
Zelensky: “No, but we are not in car.”
Trump: “No, you’re right, you’re right. We’re not in a car. That’s true.”
Zelensky: “Listen, Mr. Trump, I am actor/comedian. I crave attention. Since start of war, I get worshiped by presidents. I am worshiped by Hollywood. If war ends, no more attention. No more worship. With all due respect, Mr. Trump, this was must last forever.”
Trump: “I tell you what. If you agree to end this war, we will do a remake of ‘Friends,’ and you can play Ukrainian Chandler Bing. … OK, so let’s sign the thing and then I’ll go show you the room where Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky did it.”
There’s even an allusion to the mysterious cocaine that was found in the White House during Joe Biden’s administration.
“That was yours?” Trump asks Zelensky.
“We thought that baggie belonged to Hunter. You know, I think the Secret Service probably still has it somewhere.”
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