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Mindful Parenting: How to Calm Our Kids and Heal Ourselves
βWhen we show up for our kids in moments when no one showed up for us, weβre not just healing them. Weβre healing ourselves.β ~Dr. Becky Kenedy
I wasnβt taught to pause and breathe when I was overwhelmed.
I was taught to push through. To be a βgood girl.β To smile when something inside me was begging to be seen.
I was told to toughen up. Not to cry. Not to feel too much.
But how can we grow into resilient humans when weβre taught to hide the very feelings that make us human?
I thought I was learning strength. But what I was really learning was how to disconnect.
And I carried that disconnection into adulthood⦠into motherhood⦠into my work⦠until it begged to be healed.
Becoming a Mother and Seeing Myself Again
When I became a mother, the past resurfaced in ways I couldnβt ignore.
As a school psychologist, I had spent years working with children, guiding them through emotional regulation, supporting teachers and families, and creating safe spaces in classrooms and therapy rooms. But nothing prepared me for what would rise when my own child began to feel deeply.
At the same time, my soul sister, Sondra, was walking through a similar reckoning.
She had spent years creating spaces for children to express themselves through story and imagination, yet still carried parts of her own childhood she hadnβt been taught how to hold.
We were doing meaningful work in the world, but our children cracked something open. Their meltdowns, their restlessness, their big emotions⦠all of it held up a mirror.
And instead of just reacting, I saw something deeper: myself.
Because even with all my tools and knowledge, I was still learning how to sit with my own feelings too.
When I Teach My Child, I Re-Teach Myself
Thatβs when I truly understood: When I teach my child mindfulness, Iβm not just raising them. Iβm re-raising myself.
Iβm learning to do something I was never taught: To feel. To breathe. To stay present in the discomfort. To hold space without fixing or fleeing.
And through that process, Iβm healing parts of myself that had been quietly waiting for years.
I remember this moment clearly:
My child was on the floor, overwhelmed by emotion. The kind of meltdown that pulls something primal out of you. Every instinct in me wanted to yell. To leave the room. To shut it down.
But instead, I paused. I sat down. I took a breath. And then another. I whispered, βIβm here.β
That moment wasnβt about control. It was about connection. And thatβs what changed everything.
What Mindfulness Looks Like in Real Life
I used to think mindfulness had to look calm and quiet, but itβs not perfect.
- Itβs not silent yoga flows and lavender oils (though we love those, too).
- Itβs pausing before reacting.
- Itβs whispering affirmations under your breath when you want to scream.
- Itβs sitting beside my child, breathing together, without trying to make the feeling go away.
- Itβs placing a hand on your heart and remembering that you are safe now.
- Itβs letting your child see you regulate, repair, and return to love.
- Itβs letting a tantrum pass, not because I stopped it, but because I stayed.
- Itβs about building homes and classrooms where children donβt have to unlearn their feelings later.
Itβs not about perfection. Itβs about presence. Itβs about co-regulation, what children truly need to feel safe.
Because kids donβt calm down by being told to. They calm down when their nervous system is met with ours. With softness. With breath. With safety.
Thatβs mindfulness.
Thatβs the real work.
Healing Myself, Healing My Lineage
The more I practiced this way of parenting, the more I realized I wasnβt just helping my child feel. I was healing emotional patterns that had lived in my family for generations.
I lived in a loving family, but trauma was hard on them. They didnβt know how to regulate their emotions. They didnβt know how to sit with discomfort, how to process instead of project.
So they yelled. They shut down. They pushed through, just like they were taught. And that became the blueprint I inherited, too.
I am part of the first generation trying to raise emotionally attuned children while still learning how to feel safe in my own body.
And itβs not easy. Itβs sacred work. Itβs spiritual work. Itβs lineage work.
Because every time I whisper βIβm hereβ to my child, I whisper it to the younger version of me who needed it too.
There are moments, gentle, almost sacred, when I hear my child hum softly while striking a chime, eyes closed, saying,βThis sound makes my heart feel better.β
No one explained resonance. No one showed them how.
And in that moment, I remember: our children come into this world with a knowing we spend years trying to reclaim.
We believe weβre the teachers. But in their stillness, their play, their pure presence, they become the ones guiding us home.
Planting Seeds of Calm
One day, my son looked up at me with tearful eyes and said, βMommy, I just need you to sit with me.β
And in that moment, I realized: so did I.
That moment changed everything. It was the beginning of a softer way. A new rhythm rooted in breath, presence, and remembering that weβre not just here to teach our children how to regulate; weβre here to learn how to stay with ourselves, too.
I began to notice the magic in slowing down. To listen. To honor what was happening inside of me so I could meet what was happening inside of them. Not with control but with connection.
Every time a parent sits on the floor and breathes with their child, something ancient is rewritten.
Every time we name emotions instead of shutting them down, we break a pattern.
We donβt just raise mindful children. We raise ourselves.
Because the truth is: Every breath we teach our children to take is one we were never taught to take ourselves.
And now, we get to learn together.
About Mariana Gordon and Sondra Bakinde
Mariana Gordon and Sondra Bakinde are the co-creators of The Meditating Mantis book and The Mindful Mantis, a heart-led brand offering mindful stories and courses for children and the grown-ups who love them. Mariana is a former school psychologist and energy healer. Sondra is an artist, interior designer, and creative visionary. Together, they bring softness, story, and healing into everyday life. Learn more at themindfulmantis.com and follow on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.
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Which Types of Storm Damage Are β and Arenβt β Covered by your Homeowners Insurance
A key benefit of homeowners insurance is that it reimburses you for damage and other financial setbacks resulting from inclement weather. But itβs important to understand that not all weather-related perils are covered under a standard insurance policy.
That knowledge is especially vital now that βhuman-caused climate change is increasing the frequency and intensity of certain types of extreme weather,β according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Weather-related threats that are on the rise include wildfires, hurricanes and flooding from heavy rain.
Even though most of these potential property perils are covered under standard homeowners policies, there can be limits to that coverage. The distinctions to understand include how insurers consider damage from rain downpours that enter the home directly, compared with those from water that contacts the ground before reaching the property.
Worsening weather, rising costs
Despite climate change, insurance policies for most homes cover much the same weather-related perils now as they ever did. Damages from high winds, rain, hail, and lightning are typically covered, as are those from wildfires.
That said, there are exceptions. As detailed later in this story, these include the critical distinction between damage from rain and that from flooding, along with differing coverage of extreme weather impacts in certain vulnerable areas. And homeowners in the riskiest areas for and wildfire damage may need to pay for additional coverage or a higher deductible. (Claims from wildfire damage may also be capped in value.)
The cost of homeowners coverage has been rising overall β by an average of 24% a year from 2021 to 2024, according to the Consumer Federation of America. Rates surged by higher percentages in the states where weather-related damage has been greatest β notably, California and Florida. Homeowners in those states are also coping with a narrowing choice of insurers, especially in their highest-risk areas for weather damage.
Hereβs what you need to know, especially if you live in an area that experiences a rising incidence of extreme weather.
Extreme wind coverage can vary
Damage from high winds is generally covered in a homeowners insurance policy, though with a few possible caveats.
First; if winds reach a certain hurricane strength, your policyβs deductible may be raised from a dollar amount to a percentage of your total coverage, such as 3% β which is often a higher sum.
Also, if you live in an area that gets a lot of hurricanes, wind damage coverage in these high-risk areas may not be covered by your regular policy. You may need to buy an additional wind-only policy.
Floods require a separate policy
Homeowners insurance policies make a critical distinction between water damage, which they typically cover, and damage from flooding, which they generally do not.
You can claim for water damage from rain that struck or entered your property directly from the sky. Youβre usually covered, then, for a roof damaged in a severe rainstorm, and for damage to the homeβs interior from rain that enters the home through gaps the storm created in the roof.
However, if water contacts the ground before it reaches your property, any damages will not be covered under your homeowners policy. So if torrential rains swell a river near you and the first floor of your home is flooded, you canβt claim for the cost of putting your property right.
Similarly, you wonβt be covered under your home insurance if runoff combines with soil and other elements to trigger a mudslide or landslide.
Rather, protection from flooding requires a separate flood insurance policy, which you can buy through the federal National Flood Insurance Program. You can also buy flood insurance from select private insurers, which may offer higher coverage limits than NFIP.
Also out of scope under a regular home policy is damage caused if floodwater surges into your home through drains and causes a sewage backup. (You may need to add a water backup coverage to your policy to be protected.)
Your own negligence isnβt covered
Homeowners insurance makes another important distinction regarding the condition of your property when bad weather strikes. You could have claims partly, or even fully, denied if youβve neglected maintenance to your home.
Take the scenario of a roof damaged in a tropical storm through which water has leaked, causing damage to the homeβs interior. If the insurance adjuster determines the roof was well past the age at which it should have been repaired or replaced, or long had a known leak, they could cover less than the full cost of replacing the roof and repairing the interior damage.
Similarly, youβre expected to dry out a rainsoaked home sufficiently, so that further damage is avoided. If areas are left wet, and wood rots or mold grows, insurers will consider these problems to result from homeowner neglect, and out of scope for reimbursement.
Do an annual insurance checkup
Knowing what typically is and isnβt within scope of your homeowners insurance is an excellent foundation for knowing the policies and coverages you need to protect your home. But both risks and your policies can change over time. That means you canβt ignore your coverage, year in and year out.
Climate change is altering the maps that designate the flood threats for particular areas, with homes that have rarely if ever suffered flooding now deemed to be vulnerable to it. The maps FEMA uses have been largely updated in recent years to reflect the changing risk, though not all have yet been brought up to date.
In these cases and more, you need to stay aware of how changing weather patterns may require changes to your homeowners insurance or the need to add supplementary coverage like flood insurance. In certain high-risk states such as California, you may also need to seek a new insurer, as some companies have withdrawn from the state and canceled even some existing policies.
Those realities β and the possible continuing rise in homeowners insurance premiums β make it smart to annually review the insurance coverage for your home. At the very least, reach out to your current insurer on or around a certain date every year and discuss whether you may need to change or supplement your coverage, to increase protection or reduce costs.
J12 BLEU. The creation of an exceptional watch β CHANEL
It took 5 years to bring to life the new J12 BLEU. Designed by the CHANEL Watch Creation Studio located at Place VendΓ΄me under the direction of Arnaud Chastaingt, the watch is entirely produced by the Houseβs Watch Manufacture in Switzerland, from production of the ceramic components to assembly of the timepiece. Behind the scenes, unparalleled savoir-faire meets the highest aesthetic and technical standards.
Explore more on https://chanel.com/-J12BLEU_2025_YTB3
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