Live Above The Madness
Classy. This is the word you will say over and over again to describe your Conrad Tulum Resort experience. Enter through the resort’s massive hand-carved doors and catch your first glimpse of the Caribbean Sea. You are struck by the richness of the wood displayed in the doors, the front desk, and the furniture in […]
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There’d be no Stranger Things or Severance without this masterpiece ABC show from 2004.
The number of Americans who live past 85 is expected more than double in the next 25 years, the Census Bureau projects, leading to a surge in demand for long-term care.
Long-term care involves helping an older adult manage activities of daily living, encompassing everything from grocery shopping and preparing meals to getting dressed and using the bathroom. As many as 7 in 10 older adults will require some level of help, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
“If you live a long life, the chances of needing long-term care are increasingly high,” says Jesse Slome, executive director of the American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance. That help can range from unpaid, part-time caregiving from family members to shelling out thousands of dollars a month for a nursing home.
Understanding the likelihood of eventually needing long-term care and then mapping out your options is a critical part of planning for growing older, experts say. Yet surveys suggest many Americans aren’t doing so. Less than half of adults say they’ve had a serious conversation with a loved one about who will take care of them if they need help with daily activities or how they would pay for care, according to a survey from KFF, a nonprofit health policy organization.
Despite plenty of media coverage about an impending long-term care crisis, most adults still underestimate their individual risk for needing extensive care when they get older.
While many older adults will be able to get by with help a few times a week, over half (52%) of adults age 65 and up will have “high-intensity” needs for at least a few months, according to a recent report from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. People with high-intensity needs require help with two or more daily activities or have a dementia diagnosis.
The risk for this more intensive care varies by education, race and gender. Some 56% of women will need more intensive, longer-term care, compared with 46% of men, researchers found.
Black and Hispanic adults are also more likely than white adults to need high-intensity care, with 57% of each group needing it compared with 50% of white older adults. Across all races, those with college degrees are less likely to need it than those with a high school diploma.
Forty-six percent of adults said they thought Medicare would pay for a nursing home if they needed it, according to research from the AARP. That, experts say, is one of the biggest misunderstandings around this issue: Medicare does not pay for long-term care.
Most long-term caregiving, nearly two-thirds, is actually handled via unpaid help from family members, a 2021 study from the Center for Retirement Research found. Some 33% of caregiving hours provided to individuals 65 and older come from children, with another 17% from spouses.
If you do end up needing professional care, though, the price tag can be steep. In 2024, the median annual cost an assisted living facility averaged about $70,800 and an in-home health aide topped $77,000, according to Genworth Financial, which sells long-term care insurance. Nursing homes are typically the priciest option, with a private room costing an average $127,750. (Semi-private rooms are slightly more affordable, at $111,325 a year.)
Medicaid is the most common source for paying these costs. Yet only lower-income retirees with no assets — or those who’ve spent down all their assets — can qualify. After Medicaid, the Center for Retirement Research reports that about 8% of long-term care was paid for out of pocket and 4% was covered through insurance. Those figures track with industry statistics; LIMRA estimates about 3% of people older than 50 have a long-term care insurance policy, and more than a quarter of adults without a standalone long-term care insurance policy cite cost as the reason why.
Long-term care insurance prices are based on age, gender and your current and recent (over the past several years) health. As with all insurance products, premiums vary based on the coverage level you select. For a 60-year old purchasing a long-term care plan with a $165,000 benefit level and a 2% inflation protection, the typical annual premium is $2,060 for a single male and $3,325 for a single female, according to the long-term care insurance association. (Prices for women are consistently higher because they typically live longer, meaning they’re more likely to need long-term care.)
“Sometimes needing long-term care can get conflated with needing long-term care insurance,” Dick Weber, who offers fee-only insurance advising, previously told Money. Needing that care is a reality for many, but buying long-term care insurance is still a relatively uncommon decision.
If you are thinking about buying insurance coverage, Webber recommends you start researching your options in your 50s. Premiums tend to jump after age 65, and denial rates spike as you get older, too.
Editor’s note: This story was originally published in March 2025. We’ve updated it to include the latest statistics about long-term care.
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Apple’s tiny trackers have become invaluable additions for travel as well as keeping tabs on everyday items. Here’s how to make them work best for you.
Traumatic experiences can leave deep-seated scars that impact our mental health and well-being. Navigating the challenging path of healing requires understanding, support, and often the guidance of a professional. Therapists who specialize in trauma recovery possess the expertise to help individuals work through their experiences and regain a sense of normalcy in their lives. Below, […]
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Winemaking is a delicate balance of craftsmanship and science, requiring specialized fermentation, storage, and bottling environments. From temperature control to equipment placement, every detail matters. However, traditional building materials often fail to provide the durability and flexibility needed for a seamless operation. A Steel Building For Winery offers a modern solution that meets the industry’s […]
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Mess-free, easy to make and delicious. What more could you want in a recipe?
“There is no amount of self-improvement that can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.” ~Robert Holden
Six years ago, I forgot it was picture day at my daughter’s school. She left the house in a sweatshirt with a faint, unidentifiable stain and hair still bent from yesterday’s ponytail.
The photographer probably spent less than ten seconds on her photo, but I spent hours replaying the morning in my head, imagining her years later looking at that picture and believing her mother had not tried hard enough.
It’s strange how small moments can lodge themselves in memory. Even now, when life is smooth, that picture sometimes drifts back. The difference is that I no longer treat it as proof that I am careless or unloving. I see it as a reminder that no one gets it all right, no matter how hard they try.
I tend to hold on to my “failures” long after everyone else has let them go. My daughter has never mentioned that photo, and one day, if she becomes a mother, she might discover that small imperfections are not proof of neglect. They can be a kind of grace.
For most of my life, I thought being a good person meant being relentlessly self-critical. I stayed up too late worrying over things no one else noticed, like an unanswered text or a dusty shelf before company arrived. Sometimes I replayed conversations until I found the exact moment I could have been warmer or wiser.
The list was endless, and my self-worth seemed to hinge on how perfectly I performed in every role. Somewhere along the way, I started expecting myself to already know how to do everything right. But this is the first time I have lived this exact day, with this exact set of challenges and choices.
It is the first time parenting a child this age. The first time navigating friendships in this season. The first time balancing today’s responsibilities with today’s emotions.
The shift came on a day when nothing seemed to go my way. I missed an appointment I had no excuse for missing, realized too late that I had forgotten to order my friend’s birthday gift, and then managed to burn dinner. None of it was catastrophic, but the weight of these small failures began to gather, as they always did, into a heaviness in my chest.
I could feel myself leaning toward the familiar spiral of self-reproach when I happened to glance across the room and see my daughter. And in that instant, a thought surfaced: What if I spoke to myself the way I would speak to her if she had made these same mistakes?
I knew exactly what I would say. I would remind her that being human means sometimes getting it wrong. I would tell her that one day’s mistakes do not erase years of love.
I would make sure she knew she was still good, still worthy, and still enough. So I tried saying it to myself, out loud. “We all make mistakes.”
The words felt clumsy, almost unnatural, like I was finally trying to speak the language I had only just begun to learn. But something inside softened just enough for me to take a breath and let the day end without carrying all its weight into tomorrow.
Self-compassion has not made me careless. It has made me steadier. When I stop spending my energy on shame, I have more of it for the people and priorities that matter.
Research confirms this truth. Self-compassion is not about lowering standards. It is about building the emotional safety that allows us to keep showing up without fear.
And here is what I have learned about actually practicing it. Self-compassion is not a single thought or mantra. It’s a habit, one you build the same way you would strength or endurance.
It begins with noticing the voice in your head when you make a mistake. Most of us have an internal commentator that sounds less like a mentor and more like a drill sergeant. The work is in catching that voice in the act and then, without forcing a smile or pretending you are not disappointed, speaking to yourself like someone you love.
Sometimes that means literally saying the words out loud so you can hear the tone. Sometimes it means pausing long enough to remember you are still learning. Sometimes it means choosing kindness even when shame feels easier.
It also helps to remember what self-compassion is not. It is not excusing harmful behavior or ignoring areas where we want to grow. It is acknowledging that growth happens more easily in a climate of patience than in one of punishment.
The science supports this. When we practice self-kindness, our stress response begins to quiet, and our nervous system has a chance to settle. This does not just feel better in the moment; it makes it easier to think clearly and choose our next step.
I’ve noticed other changes as well. Self-compassion makes me braver. When I’m not terrified of berating myself if I fall short, I am more willing to try something new.
I take risks in conversations. I admit when I do not know something. I start things without obsessing over how they’ll end, and when mistakes inevitably happen, I don’t have to waste days recovering from my own criticism.
Sometimes self-compassion is quiet, like putting your phone down when you begin to spiral through mental replays. Sometimes it is active, like deciding to stop apologizing for being human. Sometimes it is physical, like unclenching your jaw or placing a hand on your chest as you breathe.
Over time, these small gestures add up. They rewire the way you respond to yourself, replacing the reflex of blame with the reflex of care.
We are all walking into each day for the first time. Of course we will miss a detail or lose our patience. Of course we will get things wrong.
But when we meet ourselves with kindness instead of condemnation, we remind ourselves that love, whether for others or for ourselves, has never depended on perfection.
And that lesson will last far longer than any perfect picture.
Lissy Bauer is a writer and certified life coach who explores emotional honesty, resilience, and the courage to stay present in a world built for escape. Drawing on lived experience and positive psychology research, she helps readers navigate uncertainty without rushing to fix or flee it. Her books offer compassionate tools for sitting with what hurts and embracing imperfection. Connect with her at lissybauer.carrd.co.
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Extension cords should only be used with electronics, an electrician warns.
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